You’re Allowed to SLOW DOWN: The Practice of Delayed Gratification
Endless “to do” lists and an overflow of filling up my plate!
During my High School years (and honestly even until now), there was never really a season of rest for me. I craved the fast pace nature of doing things as quickly as I could. To have a schedule filled to the brim. To have a goal and to check it off right away. And to expect results almost immediately. I would have rather sprinted than enjoy the marathon of life so to speak. These habits, have only ever fueled my lack of patience for life.
But, life is quite funny. And within this past year, I have learned [or more so *forced* by life] to kind of lay back into my delays, unexpected pivots, and slower seasons of rest. Which was probably the most uncomfortable thing for me to do.
I think as an early 20-something-year-old you tend to have this dream timeline and expectation of yourself. Whether that be your career, your love life, your hobbies, small goals, etc. There is always a silent placed expectation of eager accomplishment—gratification.
And I am not at all saying that this is a bad eagerness. To crave and to want things in order to keep moving and changing is the entire essence of building yourself as a human. BUT, too much constant motion, can allow you to burn yourself out and not be in the present moment.
As stated earlier, the decade that I am in right now feels like freeing burden. I am not sure if those were the right words to describe it - but to put it into words… it is freeing to know that the decisions I make now impact my future. But also… THESE DECISIONS IMPACT MY FUTURE. (See what I mean?)
However, during the times I feel like I must rush in life - there is always some part of me that wants to slow down. It is like this anxious voice within me that fuels me to be productive rather than to be present.
During a profound phone call with a friend in my Freshman year of College. I remember telling her on the phone, “I can’t wait to be my 40 year old self. I bet she has everything figured out.” And she paused and replied with: “Well, you won’t become your 40 year old self having everything figured out if you don’t go through these motions of having nothing figured out as a 20 year old.”
And that is when it clicked. Although I think it is natural as human beings to want to see the end product of something so badly, or to know the results of news as fast as we can, to overload and do more to gain our goals quicker - these habits will never be a gratifying amount of any kind.
Imagine if we you had it all figured out now. Everything from where you settle down, your career, who you marry, your hobbies, etc. It wouldn’t be as gratifying… would it? Having it “all.”
I think the practice of delayed gratification is to be humble when taking up your space to learn within this World. It is to understand that the mundane or repetitive tasks have some type of sweetness to it if you allow it to be seen as a building block for your future. And as you continue to take up space in the World, it is only natural to move within a your own pace of slow curiosity and growth.
The anxiousness of quick relief gratification is intoxicating. To fill your plate up to the brim is intoxicating. Seeing and recording results is intoxicating. But with that habitual nature of instant gratification - we lose the meaning of presence within our goals and our own lives.
I urge you, as well as myself to try to move in the pace of presence. Instead of productivity, is there a way to be more present when working towards your goals or the gratification you seek? And ask yourself - is it really worth having it “all” now or during the times in your life when it will all eventually come naturally and perfectly later according to your own timeline?
All my love,
Brejette Nepa