How to Really Become an “It Girl” - an Authentic Guidebook

Not going to lie, the whole “it girl” trend really got to me. The 2025 It girl is the type of girl to do pilates, shop at Whole Foods, enjoys matcha, and is always cleaned up with the fresh manicure of OPI’s bubble bath on. But in all seriousness, would we as women partake in any of these trends if it weren’t for coining these terms as It girl habits/persona? I would even go as far to say that this is the equivalency to the performative male. Like, do you seriously like matcha and enjoy going to pilates? Or does it boost your ego for you to pose and post on your Instagram stories to claim the 2025 It girl lifestyle.

I will say - these trends are fun to partake in; and a lot are very healthy lifestyle habits. However, sometimes I question if I genuinely have fallen in love with these habits or if I do them out of pure performative behavior.

Since I already have engraved these habits into my day to day life - I have tried to steer clear of the restrictions social media has coined for these It girl habits. Meaning, that I am trying to redefine and define my own version of being an It girl; and what it means to me.

To me, at the core, an It girl is someone who is just having fun with the mess of authentically being herself. An It girl is unique, has her own flow to everything, and seriously knows herself to the core. That way, although trends fluctuate - she isn’t fixated nor lets trends consume her identity and the person she wants to be.

Anyways, here’s a guidebook. Cause shit, trends can really toll with your brain as well as your ego’s behavior. And it is the matter of knowing when you’re being inspired rather than just purely being influenced just because something is the hottest rave.

THE Guidebook by Brejette Nepa

1. Create > Consuming

   I find myself the happiest when I become so intune and enthralled by the creation of myself. Usually this comes naturally through hobbies I have always loved (like journaling, scrapbooking, photography, etc). I find when people are so inspired by the creative mess of being themselves - is when you become more intentional. Creation can be through any act. Through a sport, a topic you’re interested in, your career, etc. Spend less time consuming content and more with the intention of being creative.

2. Personal Branding

   Grab your journal and scroll through Pinterest. Whenever I need true inspiration rather than influence I always turn towards Pinterest rather than scrolling through TikTok and or Instagram. Once I have gone through Pinterest, I will then create a mind map of my personal brand. Usually adding blurbs such as:

   • Hobbies

   • Career

   • Style / Clothing

   Creating an image of what you like makes you have a clear discernment of what trends align with your personal brand, and what trends clearly don’t. The more you become fixated on this personal image - the more you’ll get to the core of who you actually are behind the performative acts.

3. TRY EVERYTHING… and then try again.

   I think the amazing thing about social media is the doors it opens to trying to new things. So, that being said, have the courage to try something new. And if you don’t like it - you can always move on to another hobby. I believe that this creates even further discernment of what you like or dislike - which leads to confidence of not only trying something new, but also allowing yourself to create space and flow for failing and trying again and again.

4. Go through all of your stuff

   Get rid of stuff that you don’t even use nor love as much. Another man's trash is someone else’s treasure. This again, creates space of belongings that make you, YOU. Rather than having your belongings control your identity; you get to create an identity alongside your belongings. I believe you should truly LOVE your things and find them useful. USE your items or else they just end up owning you.

5. FIND UNIQUE PIECES / things you truly love

   Tagging onto what I said previously. But go and find unique pieces and don’t settle for less. Try to fight the urge of the quick gratification for following a trend. Try scouring for a new brand, going into different boutiques, researching different companies. Trust me, it becomes fun! It’s like a treasure hunt in a way.

6. Learn how to take trends with a grain of salt.

   Trends are meant to feed the consumerist mind. Trends are meant to come and go which creates a cycle of a personal style that does not stick. Learn to understand what trends best influence you in the right ways. Not because it is out of necessity of needing the item or partaking in the hobby because it’s the new It girl regimen. Besides, the one’s with the most iconic styles are the ones that have a signature persistence to them. Not an influx of the consumerist ideal.

7. Create a signature, not a surplus.

   Find what makes you stand out and engraved in the World. When honing into a signature statement on everything you own - you become recognizable and distinguishable. For example, when you have too many clothes in your closet you become overwhelmed with the choices you have to make; and because of that you’ll usually digress to finding other articles of clothing than looking into your closet. Rather, when you have honed into a handful of signature pieces, you’re able to cycle through them more and KNOW the piece well. Again, recognizable and distinguishable.

The It girl is meant to be defined by your own discernment, likes and dislikes. Besides, I think we all know that the coolest person is the one who is known for being themselves and not swaying to the societal trends. The It girl trend is going to continue to be defined into one category and style over and over again for decades. Might as well define what that means to you. Anyways, trends die. But being authentically you creates a personal brand of a signature It girl forever.

Love always,

Brejette Nepa